Normal vs Complicated Grief
Sadly, most everyone will lose someone close to them within their lifetimes. Everyone creates their own way of grieving and making sense of the loss, so it seems inappropriate to label someone’s grieving as “normal” or “abnormal.” That’s why therapists refer to some cases of grief as “complicated,” meaning that in these cases, the mourning process persists or worsens a year after the loss and/or the symptoms interfere with daily life. Read on to learn more about what distinguishes normal from complicated loss and how it can be treated.
Both types of grief involve intense sorrow and pain over the loss of a loved one. Those in mourning might feel intensely focused on the loss of their loved one, see constant, painful reminders of them, pine for what’s lost, and ruminate over the loss and what it means. All these things are completely normal in the early stages of loss. Grief is proof that we are human; that we have loved. Eventually, mourners tend to adjust to their new reality, accept the loss, and move on with other relationships. For some, however, grief persists as a heavy blanket that prevents them from moving on with their life. Besides the extended time frame, other symptoms that can indicate complicated grief include:
Feeling guilt or blaming yourself over the loss.
Feeling that life isn’t worth living without the loved one or wishing that you passed with them.
Isolation from others; social withdrawal.
Difficulty carrying out normal routines.
Difficulty focusing on anything but the loss.
Complicated loss is more common when the loss was traumatic or if the loved one was a close friend or family member. Pre-existing conditions like depression and loneliness can be a risk factor for the development of complicated loss. The good news is that complicated loss is very treatable with talk therapy. There are many approaches to treating grief and loss, and your therapist will tailor your treatment plan to your specific needs. Some basic tenets of complicated grief therapy include:
Support in processing and feeling all the emotions associated with the loss.
Teaching coping and emotional regulation skills.
Help in learning to enjoy life again and re-focus on the future.
Grief may be a normal human experience, but that does not mean that it has to be debilitating. Is your grief impeding your daily functioning, or do you feel that it’s not getting better? If so, it may be time to seek therapy. AWC is here to help with experienced therapists here in Shelby Twp, MI.
References
Complicated grief - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic. (2022, December 13). Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/complicated-grief/symptoms-causes/syc-20360374
